Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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