STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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