Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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