that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize