sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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