ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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