Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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