i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
