Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
