I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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