Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
