let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
