don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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