I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
