Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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