I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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