Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
