I heard we made out
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Everclear isn't food dammit
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
