every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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