YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
