i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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