I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
