i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She even gives head with a lisp.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
