To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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