Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
