I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
