Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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