I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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