I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Holy shit dude........stairs
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
