happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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