Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
