I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just pee around me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
