Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
