I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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