I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
