what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
