WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
