I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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