i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
