I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize