fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think your dad took our porno
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
