I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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