Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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