i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize