i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
