? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
