Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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