We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I didn't notice because vodka
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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