I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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