hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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