this boner is exhausting
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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