I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
