Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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