Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
