I think I just saw someone hide a body.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
