meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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