Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize