I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
