The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Found your dick twin last night
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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