Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
