The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
