I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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