I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
