dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
