Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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