And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
