You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
