3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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