did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
